Listening to My Womb

I was scheduled to have surgery this week.

A laparoscopic procedure to remove a large ovarian cyst.

But leading up to the surgery, something didn't feel right.

For a while, I thought it was fear... Maybe I'm just afraid something will go wrong? I asked myself.

But no... that wasn't it.

It was deeper than that...

I often tell my clients that the body is the messenger of our Soul. It is always communicating with us.

It usually starts with gentle whispers. Subtle cues to slow down, make some changes, or rest.

If we don't listen, it gets louder.

Until we pay attention.

I've told hundreds of women this, but sometimes we forget our own wisdom, don't we?

Well, my body has been screaming at me.

For years. Decades even.

I just needed to get quiet enough to listen.

So, I sat in the tub, which is where I have my best conversations with my Self, and I asked my womb...

"What do you need? What are you trying to tell me?"

The answer came quickly, followed almost immediately by tears. The kind of tears I've come to recognize as Soul remembrance.

"I want to be loved. I want to be accepted. I want to be EXPRESSED!" she said.

In that moment, I realized something powerful and true.

You see, I have spent my entire life rejecting myself, especially my feminine aspects. I've rejected and suppressed my creativity, my intuition, my sensuality, my joy, my body, and my voice.

I have starved myself of nurturance and love.

And my beautiful womb has been trying to remind me for years!!!

There it was. The answer, clear as day.

And maybe part of why this felt so important is because I've been here before.

Seven years ago, I had a partial hysterectomy. At the time, I made the decision I believed was right for me, but I've often regretted that I didn't stop and listen to my body in the way I'm learning to now.

This time, I wanted to listen before making another decision I couldn't undo.

And so I had a choice to make...

Do I listen to her?

Is cutting this part of me out really the solution?

Isn't that the ultimate rejection?

For me, right now, the answer was clear.

Not yet.

That doesn't mean I'll never have the surgery. I may still choose it at some point.

But today, I chose to listen.

To honour the wisdom of my womb and give myself the time and space to hear what she has been trying to tell me before I decide what comes next.

And it feels so good to love myself in this way.

It feels ancient and true and like something women were always meant to do...

It feels like remembering... 💗